As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
