the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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