i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
