youre lurking in front of me
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
