She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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