Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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