did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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