Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
