forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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