why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize