Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
