hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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