I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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