Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize