My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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