We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize