I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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