would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
