he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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