Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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