ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
