check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
