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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
