we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
