ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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