I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
