you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
