need another drink. this is the easiest way
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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