i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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