I wanna passion pit in your ass
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
