i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize