The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
