I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
