My room smells like vodka and shame
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i out mim tonsoeep
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