last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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