Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
