Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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