Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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