i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
