I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
