Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize