i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
