i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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