and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I need water and some morals
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
