Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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