u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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