so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i was born a porn star she said
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
