We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize