If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
