I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
