If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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