Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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