The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we're making bets on your personal life
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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