nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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