so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
