You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
