I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
