guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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