I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
