My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize