a queef is a wish your heart makes.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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