I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
