i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
