DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize