32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
