alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I need to align my fucking chakras
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
