Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
