It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
