is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
