He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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