I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
