I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
