Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
